Jan and I went to Tesco Arena this afternoon and as we left I saw a sign on a door that read, “T U O”. I said, “Look at that it don’t make any sense gel.” Then I noticed another one with “I N” on it as it opened to let someone in ... Jan looked and started laughing ... I wonder why ;-))) Yet another deeeerrrrrrr moment ;-)))
Right then, yesterday I went to Cambridge to check up on a few things for the new book I’m writing. I have always liked Cambridge having spent 2 years at 39 Field Regiment Royal Engineers based at Waterbeach Barracks in Waterbeach village. After 2 very happy years I was posted to Cyprus, fine, another good time was had there too. Anyway ...
Part of my book is based in the village and the Sun pub gets a mention in it too so I called in to have look just to make sure the place is still open, and it is and very nice too. Last time I was there in the mid-1970s and the beer at the time we Tolly-Colbold and was really, really bad. Yesterday I had a pint of Adnams and it was very nice too. So at least I can now continue with that part of the story. Two asides here ... the best pub in the village used to be the Star, down by the station. It sold Green King beers and your glass was held under a tap in the barrel to be filled, I couldn’t get enough of the stuff, very nice indeed. Sadly it’s now a private house. Second one is from my uncle; he used to say there was no such thing as ‘bad beer’, there is only ‘good beer and better beer’ ;-)))
After a nice pint of beer I made my way to the city and parked up in the disabled parking spaces on Jesus Lane. I got my scooter out and off I went. First stop the bus station, no left luggage lockers there. Next off I went to the railway station ... and what a ride that was! The general state of the pavements was horrendous. There’s loads of cracked and broken paving slabs all over the place. There’s loads of cobbled areas which is expected in a city as old as Cambridge but surely they can be maintained much better. Next problem was the so-called ‘dropped curbs’ – ha ha ha! Some of them were as much as 3 or 4 inches high. OK, not high as such but for someone riding in a scooter it’s a mountain! The way the scooter is banged and shaken about, and of the course the poor person in it too, it’s a wonder that all the scooters don’t break down on a regular basis. But there again, maybe they do, mine was the only one I saw there all afternoon! These problems are all over the town, not just local to one part of it. Oh yes, the station doesn’t have any lockers on site but there are some in building beside the main car park, so that was another question answered. So where next?
A few weeks ago I did a search on the ‘net for self storage places and found one just up the road from the station, so off I went. The place I was looking for was a Pickford’s storage place ... opps ... now the whole area where it was supposed to be has been redeveloped and is now a leisure centre and a load of restaurants and fast food joints. The lesson here is, don’t rely on Google for anything without checking it out elsewhere!
By then it was time I had some lunch so I made my way round to the Barron of Beef on Bridge Street, a really nice pub that I’ve used before. I had a nice pint of real ale which I can’t remember the name of and got really adventurous by having a burger and chips with some garlic bread, all very nice too. I got to wondering where the Tourist Information Office is. I had been there before I had forgotten where it was, so I asked the lass doing her weekend waitressing bit to help pay her way through uni, and I got to thinking about it a bit more.
The lass was a very pretty and well spoken young lady, polite and very helpful. But a few years ago although many students may well have worked just for pin money, enough to pat for a night or two on the beer, today they HAVE to work to be able to live and perhaps pay some of their fees. It seems to me that not only are they earning money but they are getting an insight into the world of work, of demand and supply, of dealing with others on an equal basis, which is something that Cambridge students didn’t do during my time there 40 odd years ago. That can’t be bad at all.
Anyway, while I was there a family of six came in, it looked like gran and granddad, mum and dad 2 kids, well, one younger kid and one stroppy teenager. What a pain in the rear end she was! She didn’t like the table, she didn’t like the seat, she complained because she was bought a coke but still drank it, she wouldn’t order any food because, “It’s all just crap!” as she put it. At no time during the time I was there did she smile, not even once! I know what she could have done with, and it wasn’t another coke!
After lunch I went off to have a look around and managed to get a few more pub signs, I got about 15 I think. I also found out something else that hasn’t changed in all that time. Cyclists still own the roads in the city! If anything has actually changed they got more arrogant and bullish. They will not give way for anyone, pedestrian, motorist and certainly not a guy in and mobility scooter! Parking is another big issue in the city but considering the roads and buildings and so on, it’s not surprising at all.
The Sage of Rochdale has been in touch again ...
While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home , he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it."
The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."
The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."
The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion." The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice."
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely rare disease." The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid blitish docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!"
"Thank God!" the man replies.
"Yes," says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by self
Oh yes, I didn’t see any birds all day ;-)))
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