I'm starting to think that I shall not get out birding every again. Too cold, too much pain, too high a cost for fuel to get away anywhere. However, here's a story, a true stor from when we could get out birding.
A few year ago, well, before 1995 anyway, Jan and I went a walk along the Coventry Canal from the Henry Street bridge down to the Cock and Bear bridge. True to form (and of course being tue to the birdiung tradition), we went into the Cock and Bear for a beer or two. Of course we wore our bins around our necks and we got a few strange looks. Getting our drinks we sat agaisnt one wall and an old guy spoke and the conversation went pretty much like this: "Hello. What are they for?" pointing at our bins. "We've been birdwatching along the canal." "Did you see anything?" "Oh yes, quite a bit really." "I bet you didn't see me favourite bird," he says. "Well, that would depend on what bird that is wouldn't it." "It's a tiny little bird, no bigger than your thumb nail. It was all red and orange, blue and yellow and green. It's a stinging nettle Jenny." "Errr, no, we didn't see one but I have heard of them. Their correct name is lesser philibuster. They are usually seen a lot better when you've had a few beers." "Yes, that's the one! Did you see any?" "Nope, I'm still sober so I wouldn't see one would I." Then I heard all the others in the pub laughing ... not sure which of us they were laughing at;-)))
Tuesday 17 May 2011
Sunday 15 May 2011
Sunday morning and I'm cold and tired
I had hoped to get to Brandon Marsh today to get some birding done and maybe try some digi-scoping. I was so cold when I got up though and I've got even colder as the morning has gone on that I've stayed put in home. Yes, I know, I'll never get anything done if I keep doing that but my health just won't allow me to do otherwise I'm afraid.
According to the Sunday Express (the only Sunday paper I have because of Stuart Winter's Birdman column), there are two stories about how daft things have got in this country when it comes to helth and safety. The first is a station master who removed a shopping trolly from the lines so that the next train due in 30 minutes later would be able to continue without delay. Good thinking you may have thought but no, he's been sacked for it after 20+ years of good service and awards for his efforts. The second case is of a couple who bought a house with a large area of land that they leveled and seeded and turned into an area where the lcoals could ahve a kick alround and paly. His insurance company wanted him to level off an area where it was a little bumpy. He started to do so and then was stopped becuase the local council said he didn't have planning permision to do so. I'm not sure who is the daftest here. The instance company for refusing the cover until the work is done after years of not questioning it, or the council for beging so obstructive.
But here's a thing about health and safety then ... you have to wear goggles to play conquers now, but where were they when Rooney broke his foot or others have broken their legs and had to be carried off the field? Where are they when rugby players are have punch up over the ball. And what that sillyness when one man throws a ball at another man so that he can try to hit it with a bit of wood? How many horses and riders have been killed or injured in horse races? Nowt siad there is there? And what about the old pub favourite of darts, especially when the players have had a few pints? And don't forget the possiblity of RSI for crib and domino players. Libray books can be very heavy so why aren't they banned? And of course a car is an unlicensed leathal weapon but they aren't banned are they? Of course not.
Does it not strike you that there's more than a lsight wiff of hypocrasy in the H&S lot? They have a go at the reired man providing a facilty for free for the local community but won't take action of the bigger issues when they are regularly putting lives at risk.
OK, enough of that. Have you heard about the nurse who wants to kill off all ginger haired people and old folks who can't cut their toe nails? Why she is still a nurse I don't know!
On a lighter not to end, The Rochdale Sage has been in touch again
A man doing market research knocked on a door and was
greeted by a young woman with three small children running
around at her feet.
He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline.
Have you ever used the product?'
She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'
And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'
We use it for sex.'
The researcher was a little taken back.
'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain
or to help with a gate hinge.
But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex.
I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you
tell me exactly how you use it for sex?'
The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all...
My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.'
And you thought it was gonna be a dirty joke...!
Shame on you
According to the Sunday Express (the only Sunday paper I have because of Stuart Winter's Birdman column), there are two stories about how daft things have got in this country when it comes to helth and safety. The first is a station master who removed a shopping trolly from the lines so that the next train due in 30 minutes later would be able to continue without delay. Good thinking you may have thought but no, he's been sacked for it after 20+ years of good service and awards for his efforts. The second case is of a couple who bought a house with a large area of land that they leveled and seeded and turned into an area where the lcoals could ahve a kick alround and paly. His insurance company wanted him to level off an area where it was a little bumpy. He started to do so and then was stopped becuase the local council said he didn't have planning permision to do so. I'm not sure who is the daftest here. The instance company for refusing the cover until the work is done after years of not questioning it, or the council for beging so obstructive.
But here's a thing about health and safety then ... you have to wear goggles to play conquers now, but where were they when Rooney broke his foot or others have broken their legs and had to be carried off the field? Where are they when rugby players are have punch up over the ball. And what that sillyness when one man throws a ball at another man so that he can try to hit it with a bit of wood? How many horses and riders have been killed or injured in horse races? Nowt siad there is there? And what about the old pub favourite of darts, especially when the players have had a few pints? And don't forget the possiblity of RSI for crib and domino players. Libray books can be very heavy so why aren't they banned? And of course a car is an unlicensed leathal weapon but they aren't banned are they? Of course not.
Does it not strike you that there's more than a lsight wiff of hypocrasy in the H&S lot? They have a go at the reired man providing a facilty for free for the local community but won't take action of the bigger issues when they are regularly putting lives at risk.
OK, enough of that. Have you heard about the nurse who wants to kill off all ginger haired people and old folks who can't cut their toe nails? Why she is still a nurse I don't know!
On a lighter not to end, The Rochdale Sage has been in touch again
A man doing market research knocked on a door and was
greeted by a young woman with three small children running
around at her feet.
He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline.
Have you ever used the product?'
She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'
And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'
We use it for sex.'
The researcher was a little taken back.
'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain
or to help with a gate hinge.
But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex.
I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you
tell me exactly how you use it for sex?'
The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all...
My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.'
And you thought it was gonna be a dirty joke...!
Shame on you
Thursday 12 May 2011
Time to update
Birding is very slow these days. We were hoping to get down to Rainham Marsh a few days ago but as with oh so many folks, lack of dosh and larger bills put paid to that! Anyway, we are rather pleased with the number of house sparrows we have around here. We live in a three bedroomed terreached house and there's laods of trees and stuff in the gardens around us so there's plenty of birds. My brother had the back garden slabbed some time ago and we can't afford to have them lifted so we can do some planting to attrack more birds. We do however put out lots of food and fresh water for them. I say 'we' but that's all down to my doemstic supervisor rather than little ol' me. I still haven't managed to get off around the canal towpath after my reccie the other week. I'll do it one, honest I will ;-)))
So then, I reaad that a place here in Dorktown holds an auction on Wednesday evening so Jan and I went to have look. Just our luck, there was no auction last night so we went around the corner to the Royal Oak on Arbury Road and had a pint in there, a pint of Tunnel Bewery OTT, not bad but I've had better. After that we went off to Whitestone (which reminds me, I must go take a photo of where the name comes from, you'll undersatnd why when I post it on here ;-))) ), to a pub called the Chetwyn Arms. Now, they've got Marstons' Pedigree on in there and that was vary nice. But there is also a Chinnies (speeling?) restaurant within the pub so I being a lover of Chinky nosh and not having tried it there before I decided to have a go. However, I made a mistake with my order and I ended up with special chow mein instead of the fried rice ... ah well. But what really pissed me off was being charged an extra £1 to eat it in the pub. In fact she was trying to charge me £2 becusae Jan was there too. It's a 'cover charge' appartantly but I've never heard of it being charged elsewhere and I did object to doing so last night. Whatever ... they can charge what they like I suppose but they have lost a customer becuase of it, and yes, I did tell them that too!
Something I found out aboutthis week ... my VW Golf is a Motability lease hire car and as part of the agreement I get a magazine come through every so often. In the last one there was a peice about driving licenses. I was surprised that if you have a photo license you have to renew it every 10 years ... and get charged £20 to do so. They don't miss a chance of making a bob or two do they!
The Rochdate Sage has been in touch again ... have a look at this one ...
A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?'
Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.'
'What does that mean?' asked the child.
'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.'
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.'
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash..
Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'
(You'll love this!!!!!!!!!)................
The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'
So then, I reaad that a place here in Dorktown holds an auction on Wednesday evening so Jan and I went to have look. Just our luck, there was no auction last night so we went around the corner to the Royal Oak on Arbury Road and had a pint in there, a pint of Tunnel Bewery OTT, not bad but I've had better. After that we went off to Whitestone (which reminds me, I must go take a photo of where the name comes from, you'll undersatnd why when I post it on here ;-))) ), to a pub called the Chetwyn Arms. Now, they've got Marstons' Pedigree on in there and that was vary nice. But there is also a Chinnies (speeling?) restaurant within the pub so I being a lover of Chinky nosh and not having tried it there before I decided to have a go. However, I made a mistake with my order and I ended up with special chow mein instead of the fried rice ... ah well. But what really pissed me off was being charged an extra £1 to eat it in the pub. In fact she was trying to charge me £2 becusae Jan was there too. It's a 'cover charge' appartantly but I've never heard of it being charged elsewhere and I did object to doing so last night. Whatever ... they can charge what they like I suppose but they have lost a customer becuase of it, and yes, I did tell them that too!
Something I found out aboutthis week ... my VW Golf is a Motability lease hire car and as part of the agreement I get a magazine come through every so often. In the last one there was a peice about driving licenses. I was surprised that if you have a photo license you have to renew it every 10 years ... and get charged £20 to do so. They don't miss a chance of making a bob or two do they!
The Rochdate Sage has been in touch again ... have a look at this one ...
A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?'
Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.'
'What does that mean?' asked the child.
'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.'
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.'
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash..
Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'
(You'll love this!!!!!!!!!)................
The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'
Wednesday 4 May 2011
New photos today
Lots of new photos today but no birds again. Hopefully we shall be out birding on Friday, we're planning a trip to Rainham Marshes and then hopefully to the Ilse of Dogs to look for the Monk Parrakeets that are supposed to be around there. I know they're not on the British list, but so what? Beside which I want to go see the Thames Barrier too and that's in the area as well.
So to start of then ...
My two favourties folks, Jan and Kile. This was taken in a pub in Banbury ... nice pint in there too ;-)))
The kidz in their bed resting for once ...
And again on my recliner chair inbetween my legs.
The Horseshoes pub on the Bull Ring in Dorktown. Some time ago it was called the Three Horse Shoes but it closed down, was refurbed and reopned as the Lancet ...
... and clsoed down again. Now a local micro bewery called Tunnel Brewery has bought it an done it up and reopened it. Tunnel Brewery is based at the rear of the Lord Nelson pub in Ansley, about 4 miles outside of Dorktown and their beer is pretty spectacular. They have 4 of their own on tap plus 5 other guset ales too, I can see me spending a lot of time and a lot of dosh in there ... ;-))) Ok, you taste it but here's two of the four ales ...
... Late Out on the top, Trade Winds on the bottom ... very nice too.
Now, there I was driving down Manor Court Road when I saw this sports car and crabbed a quick shot. It wasn't till I came to work on them this evening that I saw the sign above it. Now I can't make up my mind if the car is bad that a Raleigh bike would be a better way of getting about, or if the bikes are so good that it's actually worth swopping the car for one ;-))) What ever ... it amused me when I saw it.
So then, the Yanks have got him at last. Mr Bin Linner is in the bag, sort of thing. Love 'em of hate 'em the Ynaks don't mess about when they get on with a job. Kick a dog enough times and it will turn and bit you back. WOOFWOOFWOOF!
Tomorrow is polling day folks ... don't forget to go and vote, I shall, just as I always do. Dunna matter what you vote for, just go out and do.
Oh yes, Rochdale sage time - a list of difinitions this time ...
SchoolA place where Parents pay and children play .
Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills .
Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters...
Divorce
Future tense of Marriage.
Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power...
Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" .
Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary
A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal
A person no different from the rest
....except that he/she got caught.
Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after .
DOCTOR
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight .
Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.
PhilosopherA fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.
So to start of then ...
My two favourties folks, Jan and Kile. This was taken in a pub in Banbury ... nice pint in there too ;-)))
The kidz in their bed resting for once ...
And again on my recliner chair inbetween my legs.
The Horseshoes pub on the Bull Ring in Dorktown. Some time ago it was called the Three Horse Shoes but it closed down, was refurbed and reopned as the Lancet ...
... and clsoed down again. Now a local micro bewery called Tunnel Brewery has bought it an done it up and reopened it. Tunnel Brewery is based at the rear of the Lord Nelson pub in Ansley, about 4 miles outside of Dorktown and their beer is pretty spectacular. They have 4 of their own on tap plus 5 other guset ales too, I can see me spending a lot of time and a lot of dosh in there ... ;-))) Ok, you taste it but here's two of the four ales ...
... Late Out on the top, Trade Winds on the bottom ... very nice too.
Now, there I was driving down Manor Court Road when I saw this sports car and crabbed a quick shot. It wasn't till I came to work on them this evening that I saw the sign above it. Now I can't make up my mind if the car is bad that a Raleigh bike would be a better way of getting about, or if the bikes are so good that it's actually worth swopping the car for one ;-))) What ever ... it amused me when I saw it.
So then, the Yanks have got him at last. Mr Bin Linner is in the bag, sort of thing. Love 'em of hate 'em the Ynaks don't mess about when they get on with a job. Kick a dog enough times and it will turn and bit you back. WOOFWOOFWOOF!
Tomorrow is polling day folks ... don't forget to go and vote, I shall, just as I always do. Dunna matter what you vote for, just go out and do.
Oh yes, Rochdale sage time - a list of difinitions this time ...
SchoolA place where Parents pay and children play .
Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills .
Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters...
Divorce
Future tense of Marriage.
Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power...
Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" .
Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary
A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal
A person no different from the rest
....except that he/she got caught.
Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after .
DOCTOR
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight .
Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.
PhilosopherA fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.
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